Internet Sex Saturation Now At 95%

Many lonely nerds were pleasently surprised this morning when they discovered that the Internet was now 95% hard-core pornography.

In combination with soft-core porn and lingerie advertisements, this brings total breast content up to a whopping 169%, since each is counted individually. "There's porn within the porn… and even our statistics are suggestive – of sex!" said the manager of XXX eXotic eX-women.

"Awesome!" said a nearby nerdy young man. "Awesome!"

This unprecidented amount of pornography saturation is largely due to more insideous placement. In the past, the purveyors of porno would mostly limit themselves to their own pages. Not anymore.

"Well, we basically made deals with most every university and public organization. They need money, and we give it to them - in exchange for porno placement." said the manager of Naughty Net Nudies, an internet sex site.

An example, found on Yale's web site, is as follows:

"Many birds prefer to travel from one part of the forest to another beneath the canopy, rather than expose themselves to the eagles patrolling it above. Many choose to nest here. Trogons excavate a chamber in the globular nests of tree ants; macaws, hornbills and tucans use holes in hollow trees. And speaking of chicks, many hot and horny women are ready and waiting for you at http://www.hotsexxx.com. See the nakedest nastiest women on the net."

"We really needed the money. We've already bled the students for all they were worth, and we needed alternate sources of income," said the university representative. "Plus, who can resist the these beautiful babes? Certainly not lonely men, aged 16-25, that's for sure. You won't believe how hot these women are," the representative explained, shortly before being handed a cloth bag with a green dollar sign painted on it.

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