Ryan VS. Ryan

Besides being a useful tool for talking to people with your fingers, ICQ has a "people seach" which, when properly yeilded, will reveal that there is more than one person claiming the name "Ryan North" as his own. In fact, there's over 7 of them. The following is actual unedited correspondence between myself and the dopplegangers, in order from least to most messed up.


To: "Ryan North"
Dear "Ryan",
It has come to my attention that you're using the name "Ryan North". This is fine, only you must understand that I'm the real Ryan North. You can use the name, that's OK, as long as you admit that I'm the real Ryan. You can put your name in quotation marks so that nobody, least of all ourselves, gets confused. Are we cool?

To: Ryan North
Mr. ___________,
It seems there has been some confusion. It turns out you're not who you think you are. If you really wanted to be me you should have been born a year earlier. Now that that is cleared up, I wish you good luck in finding an new name. The Original Ryan North

To: "Ryan North"
Dear "Ryan" I am sorry that you were confused. Although you may have been born first, I hold the trademark by acclaimation of the name "Ryan North". It is akin to Cornflakes being "the original and best" despite the fact that there were cornflakes before Cornflakes. Don't worry though, you can still be Ryan North, only I ask that you put it in quotation marks so that everybody won't confuse you with me. Ryan


END OF CORRESPONDENCE

To: "Ryan North"
Dear "Ryan",
It has come to my attention that you're using the name "Ryan North". This is fine, only you must understand that I'm the real Ryan North. You can use the name, that's OK, as long as you admit that I'm the real Ryan. You can put your name in quotation marks so that nobody, least of all ourselves, gets confused. Are we cool?

To: Ryan North
this is ryans youghger brother

To: "Ryan North"
hey Ryan's younger brother.
I too have a younger brother. His name is victor. I'm sure he doesn't mind you using his name either.

To: Ryan North
who are you

To: "Ryan North"
Ryan North. I thought that much was clear.

To: Ryan North
I'm Ryan North

To: "Ryan North"
No, I am. I understand that you might call yourself "Ryan North" and that's cool by me; I understand that. All I want you to recognize is that this Ryan North is the original and best. Maybe I'll ask for royality fees. What kind of fees do you think are fair?

To: Ryan North
where are you from

To: "Ryan North"
Ontario, Canada. There's a sign outside the province that says "Ryan North lives here. Be aware of high dudeness levels." You?

To: Ryan North
is this curtis

To: "Ryan North"
No, this is Ryan. Ryan North. From Ontario. Curtis is someone different, believe me. If one thing's for sure, it's that I'm NOT Curtis.

To: Ryan North
i don't know you are but I am ryan north

To: "Ryan North"
I thought you were Ryan's younger brother.

To: Ryan North
I am ryan

To: "Ryan North"
Sure. But I'm the Real Ryan. It's like a ghostbusters thing, where there were two cartoon shows called "Ghostbusters" but one was "the REAL Ghostbusters". I'm those Ghostbusters. I'll be Egon. You can be the receptionist if you want.


END OF CORRESPONDENCE

To: "Ryan North"
Dear "Ryan",
It has come to my attention that you're using the name "Ryan North". This is fine, only you must understand that I'm the real Ryan North. You can use the name, that's OK, as long as you admit that I'm the real Ryan. You can put your name in quotation marks so that nobody, least of all ourselves, gets confused. Are we cool?

To: Ryan North

whatt yopu talkin? why don't ya die twitmeister? Ryan's the real one.

To: "Ryan North"
I'm afraid I don't quite understand. All I want is for you to stop using my name because others might find it confusing. Here is the deal. You put "ryan north" in quotation marks, as shown, and we have reached an understanding. Cool?

To: Ryan North

are yopu brain dead ese or did you miss the part where I voted to let ya die, The tag is dime ese, if the name is on the drivers liscence, then yuu fig it out, fuckin spick

To: "Ryan North"
I've never been called a spick before. I'm not sure that I like it. Look, all I'm asking is that you put your name in quotation marks so that people won't confuse you with me. Royalities are in consideration, but I'll be sure to keep you posted. Please. All I want is to clear up this confusion once and for all.

Ryan.

To: Ryan North

ya fuckin twit

To: "Ryan North"
Look. Can't we come to some understanding? Using words like "fuck" is tarnishing my reputation. How about you be called from now on "Bryan West" which is a perfectly respectable name in its own right and you can even use it without the quotes. That's Bryan's problem. Cool?

To: Ryan North

read between the lines bitch

it's not the name game here, thats my tag, birth label, given and sur name, if ya can dig it

Can you Dig It!!

To: "Ryan North"
I am quite capable of digging it.

I just don't understand most of what you say.

To: Ryan North

North, Ryan, Middle Initial, D

can you dig it

To: "Ryan North"
North, Ryan, middle initial M. See, there's the problem. One letter difference is still to close for my tastes. So are we cool now, Bryan?

To: Ryan North

you brain dead, self indulged, pompous, slut

Y'all can't do shit bout it so sit the rid and an rout it

To: "Ryan North"
If you won't change your name, will you send me 30 dollars? I am needing the 30 dollars.

To: Ryan North

I am needing you ass on a platter

To: "Ryan North"
All this profanity is hurting the name of Ryan North, fuck. Fuck that. Just fucking stop using the fucking name and we can get this fucking over with. Christ.

To: Ryan North

hahahahahahahahahahaha man is yo ass uptight why would I stop using my own name brilliance?!?! yeah,. see, thats what I thought

To: "Ryan North"
Bryan:
I swear I only understand 33% of your message. Perhaps I am receiving segments of another unrelated conversation between two heroin monkeys. Please put your name in quotation marks. Please send me royalities. Do you have a brother named Victor? Cause I think he wants in on the deal too.

To: Ryan North

bitch!! hahahahaha

To: "Ryan North"
Who's the bitch? Victor?

To: Ryan North

now your reading the same words I am


END OF CORRESPONDENCE

RN - All Content 2000.