Area Man Claims That He'll Definitely Win Big
Bunch Of Crazy Kids Make Up News Stories, Present Them As Fact
~ Dollar King Assassinated
Female Residents of Lesbos Rally Against "Lesbian" Moniker
Horny Man Extremely Disappointed With 1-900 Line's Service
Kasparov Demands Rematch Against VCR
~ Local Janitor Demands Respect, Mop
~ Local Man Uninspired by Hollow Corporate Catchphrase
~ Man Cryogenically Frozen In Fifties Extremely Disappointed
Mary Jane's Chest Grows An Additional 17%
Ontario Man Initially Confused by Thesaurus
Really Freaky Liquid Found In Back Of Fridge
Science Fiction Revealed To Be Thinly Veiled Social Commentary
Teachers Implement Mandatory Competency Testing For Politicians
The Shredder Actually Dines On Turtle Soup
ATI Launches Revolutionary All-In Wonder
Criminal Element Delt Blow With Issue of Rocket Boots to Regional Police Force
DeVry Graduate Institutionalized
Internet Sex Saturation Now At 95%
Nearly Tragic Incident Caused by 'Black Box'
Dogs Launch A Desperate Plea At Mariah Carey: "Please Stop Singing!"
Elton John Can't Explain, But It's Something About The Way I Look Tonight
Entertainment Tonight Disapproves Of New Film
~ Hollywood News Update
Jay Leno Expresses Outrage At Kevin Eubanks
Jenny Jones Celebrates A First
K-tel Announces New 90's Compilation
Local Man "Disappointed" With Last Night's Xena Episode
Mario, Sonic, Crash Unite Against Pokιmon
Middle-Aged Man Disappointed By Britney Spears Concert
Minnie Driver Appearing In Court
Parappa Sued For Plagurism
~ Reader Proves He Can Create Better Site Than MADHOUSE
Show Sends Man Spiralling Into Coma
Star Wars Addict Already In Line For Episode 2
T.V.'s Ally McBeal Suffers Horrible Tragedy
Unsolved Mysteries Runs Out Of Mysteries
~ X-Men Movie Coming Along Nicely, Says Professor X
Business Follows Example Set by Government
Disney Reveals Controversial Choices For New Tarzan Action-Figures
eBay Records The Highest Bid Ever Made On Its Site
Kraft Introduces "Moron Mac"
Mr. T Opens Mexican Restaurant
~ There's Nothing Funny About Copyright Infringement
Time Merges With Seventeen
UPS Unable to Deliver Parcel
VW Ad Causes High School Chemistry Student To Fail
Alf Vs. Mr. Belvedere
Alternatives to Napster
~ Are You A Bad Enough Dude To Rescue The President?
Do Cheesy Pick-Up Lines Work?
Hollywood's Portrayal Of Cyborgs Is Threatening Their Survival
How To Be The Life Of Any Party
I Don't Care If Gloria Gaynor Was Initally Afraid Or Petrified, That Woman Ruined My Cake
I'm Into My Frosh, Fuck
I'm Not In A Frenzi
I'm Not Sure, But I Don't Think My Canadian Tire Money Is Legal Tender
I'm Totally Psyched About Last Summer's Movies
It's Hammer Time
Jimmy Crack Corn, And I Care
~ My Mail Lady Is The Best
~ My Summer Plans
Naked Old Men Aren't Cool
Quite Adequate For A Man Of My Racial Denomination
~ Skid Row, Man!
Spontaneous Ass-Whuppings On The Rise
Star Trek Conventions Are The Bomb!
Technology In General Is A Pallid Substitute For My Lackluster Social Life
That Coffee Shop Is So Totally Last Year
The Dentist: It Really Bites
~ Those Pesky Kids
TV Is A Pallid Substitute For My Lackluster Social Life
~ Wang Star
~ What's Up With Today's TV Ads?
Why America's Funniest Home Videos is America's Funniest Television Show
You Attractive Individual, You.
You Pinko Mofo
Bouchard Uses Time Machine To Create "Favourable Conditions"
Bouchard Uses Time Machine To Escape From Future, Aided By Past Self
Homogenization Of American Culture Nearly Complete
NASA Unveils Earth's New Asteroid Defense
Obesity Linked to Eating
~ Overwhelming National Sentiment: "Leave it alone and it'll take care of itself"
Pop Music Revealed as "Repetitive"
Pirates Of Pestulon No Longer A Threat
Satan Retires, Claiming "It's just too easy."
Something Other Than Television and Video Games Blamed For Violence
~ Unusual Book Ending Casts Doubt Over The Nature Of Reality
~ World Still Feigning Polite Interest In US Presidential Proceedings