I think we can all agree that kids are stupid. As much as Home Alone may try to persuade us otherwise, a real kid would've been wetting himself 10 seconds after thinking his family had disappeared. Fox's Child Genius show taught us that even the children who spend 10 hours a day memorizing encyclopedias still have the social abilities of a rutabaga, and none of the earthy charms.

But the sad fact remains, I once walked amongst the stupid masses of stinky, lisp-talking midgets. Since all of my childhood memories were absorbed from the perspective of a kid, I was unsure of how much I could trust those treasured memories.

With this idea in hand I went on a quest. Not just a trip down memory lane, but a journey to reconstruct my childhood. I gathered information mostly from 80's books, memorabilia, and board game packaging. It was a wild ride filled with terror, excitement and surprisingly next to no nudity, but still an enjoyable ride none the less.